elySEX.net

What the crap, Elyse? Why’d you take Ashley’s layout down? It was so hot!
It was, wasn’t it? Well, I looked out my window this morning, and it was so cold, dreary, and dark. I needed something to brighten up my day. Ashley’s layout was so hot, and she’ll probably kill me for taking it down, but I just needed something that would blind me into happiness.

Does this mean we’ll never see it again?
Hell no! That layout’s too hot to pack away forever.

Besides taking down hot layouts, what have you been doing?
Detoxing, mostly. Big medication fiasco with my drug dealers. They hate me. Other than that, school, school, school.

Hey! Aren’t you changing schools?
Transfer process begins tomorrow! I have an appointment with an adviser at IUSB (that’s Indiana University South Bend) at 11:30. Some red tape later, I should be a student there!

Your bitchass is scared.
Terrified.

Why?
The campus is HUGE! It’s about 10x the size of Davenport’s campus in Granger. The agoraphobic in me wants to stay at Davenport to remain safe and comfortable, but I hate it there. The people, the classes, the place… it’s all so evil. I decided it’s about time I study something I love.

And that is?
English, yo! I no speak it that good, but I stand a better chance than most people.

Didn’t Iggy the Website Fairy do this? Where is he?
Dead.

So… then… who am I?
Hermaphrodity the Half-Man, Half-Woman Website Fairy/Accountant to the stars.

And hiatus be suck.

You may kill me when I get back.

… I am the worst mother in the world!

No, I didn’t give birth over the weekend. That really was the flu, not morning sick. It’s kind of hard to get pregnant when you’re not getting any. Although, I’ve had offers. Most of them are from women, so pregnancy really isn’t an option. Unless they have super female sperm. It shoots out and goes PEW! PEW!

But I did give birth to little Sim babies. I finally got my Sims 2 to start working, which is nice because when you drop a buttload of money on a game, you’d like it to work.

I decided that, even though I had three virtual mouths to feed (me, my husband, and my daughter), I wouldn’t hit Shift+Ctrl+C and cheat like the horrible cheater that I really am. I decided that *GASP* I’d actually earn my living, build and decorate bit by bit, and work my way to owning my own business. I decided to BE HONEST. *dies of astonishment*

What I didn’t count on was the little things virtual life throws at you. As my daughter began to grow into a young woman and my husband was climbing the ranks in the medical field, I thought I’d expand my family. I WooHooed my husband like there was no tomorrow!

Needless to say, my virtual self was pregnant in no time. I got fat, but I managed to keep painting to support my family, fetching a fair price for my masterpieces. Then, one day, the virtual me started getting all screamy and ZOMG! BABY’S COMING! Push! Push!

That’s when I got the shock of my life. TWINS! A little boy and a little girl. I didn’t have enough money to buy two cribs, so I had to sell more than just my paintings. Like my computer. My T.V. My bed. All so my little babies could have a place to sleep.

But when I put my little girl into the crib, I noticed she had some kind of skin irritation. It was… DUN DUN DUN! Pixelation! Through some sort of badass little glitch, my daughter remained pixelated no matter what I did. So I brainstormed.

In the Sims 1, if you had a problem with your sim, you could simply enter a simple cheat code, delete the sim, click their face on the control panel, and they’d be back to normal. So I did that. I entered the cheat (it wasn’t a money cheat… I’m still being honest!), deleted my daughter in Buy Mode, and…

SHE WAS GONE! Like, no face on the control panel. Like I HAD DELETED MY DAUGHTER TO DEATH!

I’m going to turn myself into the Sim Police tomorrow.