elySEX.net

I don’t rent space to anyone in my head.

 

Speaking of mothers…

March 16th, 2008
 

… I am the worst mother in the world!

No, I didn’t give birth over the weekend. That really was the flu, not morning sick. It’s kind of hard to get pregnant when you’re not getting any. Although, I’ve had offers. Most of them are from women, so pregnancy really isn’t an option. Unless they have super female sperm. It shoots out and goes PEW! PEW!

But I did give birth to little Sim babies. I finally got my Sims 2 to start working, which is nice because when you drop a buttload of money on a game, you’d like it to work.

I decided that, even though I had three virtual mouths to feed (me, my husband, and my daughter), I wouldn’t hit Shift+Ctrl+C and cheat like the horrible cheater that I really am. I decided that *GASP* I’d actually earn my living, build and decorate bit by bit, and work my way to owning my own business. I decided to BE HONEST. *dies of astonishment*

What I didn’t count on was the little things virtual life throws at you. As my daughter began to grow into a young woman and my husband was climbing the ranks in the medical field, I thought I’d expand my family. I WooHooed my husband like there was no tomorrow!

Needless to say, my virtual self was pregnant in no time. I got fat, but I managed to keep painting to support my family, fetching a fair price for my masterpieces. Then, one day, the virtual me started getting all screamy and ZOMG! BABY’S COMING! Push! Push!

That’s when I got the shock of my life. TWINS! A little boy and a little girl. I didn’t have enough money to buy two cribs, so I had to sell more than just my paintings. Like my computer. My T.V. My bed. All so my little babies could have a place to sleep.

But when I put my little girl into the crib, I noticed she had some kind of skin irritation. It was… DUN DUN DUN! Pixelation! Through some sort of badass little glitch, my daughter remained pixelated no matter what I did. So I brainstormed.

In the Sims 1, if you had a problem with your sim, you could simply enter a simple cheat code, delete the sim, click their face on the control panel, and they’d be back to normal. So I did that. I entered the cheat (it wasn’t a money cheat… I’m still being honest!), deleted my daughter in Buy Mode, and…

SHE WAS GONE! Like, no face on the control panel. Like I HAD DELETED MY DAUGHTER TO DEATH!

I’m going to turn myself into the Sim Police tomorrow.

 
Posted in General Hysteria, Interwebz
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14 Responses to “Speaking of mothers…”

  1. Sarah
    March 16th, 2008 at 4:58 am
     

    OH NOES NOT THE IRRADICATION CHEAT!

    Haha. Seriously though, I know the cheat you’re talking about, and it’s reaaaaalllllyyy sensitive.

    if you restart the game, the baby should be sitting next to the mailbox. ;)

    Elyse says: OH SURE! You tell me this AFTER I restart. My poor baby. She’s gone forever.

    [Reply]
  2. Kecia
    March 16th, 2008 at 6:43 am
     

    Lol…Posts like this are why I read you blog. I end up with tears in my eyes by the end from laughing so hard. Someone’s going to be calling the Sims Dept. of Family and Children Services on you!!! :P

    Elyse says: OH NOES! I’m already in trouble with them for not feeding the baby. I’m going to be thrown in jail!

    [Reply]
  3. Ashley
    March 16th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
     

    hehehe

    Sorry I can’t help but giggle. I haven’t gotten my sims to work in MONTHS. It makes me sad. How did you get yours to work?

    Elyse says: It doesn’t work right. I have no idea why. My dad says it has something to do with RAM or something, but I tune him out. It takes forever to load, so I’d walk on the treadmill until it did, but it would crash if I walked on the treadmill. Which makes no sense. We have a surge protector and all that computer safety junk, so it shouldn’t have reacted. And even when I don’t walk on the treadmill, after an hour or two, it basically gives me a big Fuck You and crashes anyways. *DIES*

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  4. Nimil
    March 16th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
     

    omg you make me want to play the sims 2 again… *reaches for cd*

    Elyse says: Yes… play with us… join us… join us…

    [Reply]
  5. Jenn
    March 17th, 2008 at 1:23 am
     

    Oh my god Elyse… I’m laughing my ass off over here. High five! That’s some A+++++ game-parenting right there. ;)

    Elyse says: LOL! I deleted my baby, and all I got was a lousy high five.

    [Reply]
  6. Jessica
    March 17th, 2008 at 4:37 am
     

    I took the Sims 2 off of my computer. All I ever did was use the money cheat to get tons of money so that I could get me a house and decorate it. Then it sits there for months and months. Nothing else happens, lol. I laughed really hard at the I deleted my daughter to death sentence, haha. Oh, and Sewwy made me laugh at the thought your baby sitting next to the mailbox, lol.

    Elyse says: That’s what I did too! The cheating, not the laughing at deleting my daughter to death. LOL! I cursed about that. Yeah, I’d give myself millions of dollars, then I’d spend it, and then I’d be all like… what now? Without the cheat, the game is actually a game! It’s challenging. You have to figure out how to buy the needs and afford the wants. Plus, I’m trying to work my way into a mansion without cheating… that’s HARD.

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  7. Maja
    March 17th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
     

    I locked my baby into a room, removed the doors and starved her to death.

    I’m obviously never having children in RL….

    Elyse says: And I’m not surprised in the least. Maja is my little serial killer.

    [Reply]
  8. Cori
    March 17th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
     

    Oh god, TS2 is my death sentence. I frickin’ love that game. Yeah, I can’t not cheat. I have to download tons of mods and special content and make my own wallpaper and floors and clothes. This is probably why I am so addicted, it will never get old!

    I um…I’m no good at parenting. I hire like five nannies and don’t even pay attention to the kids until they are teens and can be fun.

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  9. Crys
    March 17th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
     

    I am the goddes of cheating in the Sims 2. I do the money cheat ALL the time. Then I do the God cheat where I can click their stats up when they get low.

    Most of my SIM families have like 9 children and 18 bazillion pets.

    [Reply]
  10. Jessica
    March 17th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
     

    Crys, what is the God cheat? I don’t think I’ve heard of that one. And how do you do it. :]

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  11. Mika
    March 18th, 2008 at 3:33 am
     

    That is one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a while, I’m sorry lol. You’ve inspired me to play TS2 without cheats, and also reinstall the business expansion. I do the build house, decorate, and do nothing with it most of the time, too.

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  12. Janet
    March 18th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
     

    LOL. That’s almost as bad as when I had my Sim children taken away from me because they were delinquents, even though I kept telling them to behave.

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  13. Crys
    March 18th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
     

    Its boolProp TestingcheatsEnabled True or something like that. and its case sensitive. Anyway it lets you do pretty much anything. You can use it to control other sims, speed up pregnancies, give out free cell phones change aspirations and bunch of other stuff.

    Anyway, I was playing the other day and my kitchen caught on fire and my cat died and My stupid Sim kept screaming and I couldnt get her to call the fire department or leave the house.

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  14. valerie
    March 21st, 2008 at 4:18 am
     

    I read this the other day but apparently didn’t get to comment. This still has me rolling on the floor laughing. :D

    [Reply]

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